Worship, Dedication and Parenting

It has been impressed upon me over the past few days how presumptuous I can be when it comes to my children. I always thought I was good at keeping an open mind in regards to my kids, but I realize now how little this is true. And frankly, I have been presumptuous in what is clearly the most critical area of both my life and theirs.

When you have children, you immediately assess and marvel in their personality as you watch it unfold. You start noticing their strengths as they continue to grow and how you think they will excel in life. Our inherent nature is to want our children "succeed" more than we have. That somehow they are not only making a contribution to the world, but that contribution would benefit the family line. This is why when you start supposing what they will be as they get older, it's often professions like scientist, doctor, lawyer, and teacher. Professions that we see as stable, noble and sometimes lucrative. Whatever you think is a "lowly job" you don't suppose your children will be that. This really seems right to think this way. Surely you wanting the best for your children is a good thing and I thought I was open minded when I would say, "Hey, if my son wants to be a then by all means, this is what I want for him too." But what is funny about this, is that I never think of him in that title, so I doubt it's really what I believe. There is room for my open mind to become more so.

As a Christian, the Apostle Paul challenges me in Romans 12 when he says:

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship."
-Romans 12:1

Now that is a challenge to me, not my children. And this challenge extends beyond our physical body as well. It's a big challenge and one that I will spend the rest of my life trying to accomplish. In my readings this past week, I was struck with how imperfect my worship is. What I am doing externally should be the overflow of what I truly feel and believe inwardly. In doing this I thought about what it meant to truly worship and glorify God. Part of this requires that I submit all that I have responsibility over to him. Otherwise those same things will be a distraction to me as I will try to use my own abilities to accomplish worldly goals. Sure it may look right to other folks, but God and I know that when I'm not focused on him, my worship is less than pure. This may not make sense to everyone, but in order for me to worship God in my work, my relationships, my actions, my everything, I need to give it all to him. Allow Him to be my central focus. Don't get me wrong. This doesn't mean I ignore or discard these aspects of my life. It means that I give them to God and allow him to pervade all aspects of my life and affect these areas more positively than I in my flawed human efforts ever could. In essence, to worship Him through these areas. The opposite of what it may sound like will occur. These parts of my life will be all the more healthy.

So, what does this mean when it comes to my parenting? Well, it means in my worship and service to God, I have to submit my children to God as well. I know what you may be thinking. That I did that when dedicated our children in church. Well, that's partly true, but for it to be fully true, my ideas for what the future holds for my children would take on a different meaning. When I say my son might be a good doctor, am I seeing him as a doctor with a healthy practice where he is loved by his patients and he is never found to be financially wanting? If so, then am I really focused on what God might have in store for him, or what I think is the most beneficial by worldly means? In my case, I think the latter.

So what does it look like to truly worship God in relation to our children? What should we want for our children and pray that God will give us? First we should probably pray that they come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I'd venture to say that this is a good prayer. What about their life? As far as success goes, what should I be asking in this regard? Is it wrong to be successful by worldly standards? I don't think so. Is it wrong to pray that they become wealthy? Well, for me, I say that it's a bit worldly to pray for this. Consider the story of Hannah and Samuel in the Old Testament. I can only imagine a fraction of what it may feel like to be barren. That despite your desire and efforts, you are without child. I'm sureit's even harder for the woman in the relationship than the man. In the case of Hannah, this was definitely true. Her husband had a second wife who had 10 children. So Hannah in her grief prayed earnestly to God and asked for him to open her womb. She also promised to commit the child to Him. God heard her prayer and blessed her with Samuel. Now imagine holding the child you had yearned for for many years and recalling the promise you made to God. I can honestly say I couldn't imagine doing what Hannah did. I think I wouldn't be able to keep my promise to God. The first chapter of Samuel's life was that of being weaned from his mother, Hannah, she took him to Eli the priest to live with him and to serve in the temple. Imagine! Waiting for so long to have a child of your own and then physically taking him to serve in the temple all of his days. I have little doubt in my mind that Hannah understood both how to worship and how to dedicate her life (as well as Samuel's) to the Lord.

As a parent I have presumed so much. What will their profession be? Well, I don't know, but what I suggest it should be might tell me more about myself and where my heart is than it predicts what they will do when they grow up. I'm inclined to say that they might be missionaries, or pastors. I have to say the idea of my child living in a third world country in dire conditions so he could minister to the less fortunate who do not know Jesus is still hard for me to swallow. I think my prayer should be that their lives will bring glory to God and that others will see the character of God manifested in my boys. Sounds easy, but I need to constantly reflect on how willing I am to accept that my child may choose a really hard life for the Glory of God. My own spiritual health could be indicated by how willing I am to accept that.