A Wonderfully "Dangerous" Combination

Over the past two weeks I have heard a sermon on materialism/idolatry and read through the book of Ecclesiastes. I'm not quite sure what it means long term, but I would have to say it has changed my perspective considerably. I'm guessing I should probably give an "assist" to reading Mere Christianity and Organic Church at the same time. Good stuff!

Rejected reality show ideas

Survivor: East L.A.
Survivor: Greenland
Survivor: The Biggest Loser in Fiji

So what's it like in Charlotte?

Well, I'm glad you asked. It just so happened that The Prairie Home Companion came into town last weekend and recorded their Saturday show here. Sadly I didn't go, but I've listened to some of it. If you like Garrison Keillor, you might like the song he sang about this fair city. It's fairly accurate.

Listen to it

Soft-Serve Ice Cream

I need to say a few quick words about this. First, I love the stuff! I grew up on it and to paraphrase a previous pastor, if it weren't for soft-serve ice cream I wouldn't be half the man I am today. So with that, I have to appeal to anyone who has ever or will ever hold a cone underneath the nozzle of a soft-serve machine. This is no laughing matter because you hold the delight of the recipient in your hands. The purchase of a soft serve cone is a risk. The person on the other side of the counter is depending on you to deliver the full worth of their dollar and change. This is what we expect from an ice cream cone:

Very cold ice cream that can stand warm weather for the longest amount of time...we don't want to be rushed

A cone that is straight where the cream projects directly up from the shell. Top-heavy or tilted cones are a real drag as it too induces faster-than-desired eating.

And lastly, I do not know anyone who truly wants a smaller cone. The bigger the better. Of course, I have known some people who might say to their friends, "Oh I can't eat all of that!" or "Wow, this is too much," but really, do you believe her? And regardless, their date/husband/dad will be sure to come back again for precisely that same reason.

So with this in mind, let me give you some rules:

Hold the cone directly under the nozzle and if you're allowed, fill in the center using a slight "up/down" motion. Let the ice cream expand in diameter until it's slightly over the edge of the cone and then drop your hand briefly and bring back up again. It's like creating multiple "spare tires." (Heh! That's kind of appropriate!). This will allow the ice cream to center, have a lower center of gravity and greater density. Tilted cones like I said before are not a good thing. It induces the eater of said cone to increase pace of the whole ice cream eating experience.

If you have to do a circular motion, cause it looks pretty or it lessens the amount of ice cream by creating the "ice cream cave" well, then make the diameter bigger at the bottom! Failure to do so will cause the cone to either be top-heavy, or even worse, smaller! Making the diameter as big as possible will help make up for the lost cream in the middle due to the cave. You and I both know that when we entered into the business deal, we did not wish to purchase the air in the middle of the cone!

Be sure the ice cream can withstand the outside temperature for a decent length of time. You do not want the purchaser to have to rush and you also need to be sure that the cone is as tall and as heavy as physics will allow. If it is too soft, well, alert the purchaser that it's soft, and ask him if he wants the cone upside down in a cup. This way, you will not need to skimp on the cream.

Lastly, if you haven't noticed, make quantity your number one goal! Never skimp. Their is nothing more frustrating than buying a treat and getting some wimpy excuse for an ice cream. If you see the recipients face drop when you turn to hand it to him, perhaps, you should take the cone back, request their patience while you try again. Tell them you're new at it and they will be more than happy to wait until you can create a towering cone that would make every one but your manager proud.

My apologies for the length of this post, but certain subjects cannot be lightly addressed. They need to be handled with their just due.

Calling all Tar Heels!

Tomorrow we stand the best chance for rain in the past two months. Something like 80% here in Charlotte. Now, I am not a believer in luck, but I got to admit to a small leaning towards Murphy's Law. So, I am personally calling all North Carolinians to follow these instructions:

Schedule an impromptu lunch picnic

Sleep with your windows open

Put the top down on your convertible and do not park in the garage

Have your children leave toys out in the yard

Hang up clothes on your clothes line. (OK, I admit that I haven't seen a clothesline anywhere in North Carolina)

Ladies should get their hair done

Men, paint your houses!

And by all means, do NOT take an umbrella with you anywhere you go!

Your compliance to these requests is very much appreciated.

Thank you, Governor Easley!

Yesterday our governor made the following statement:
"A dirty car is a sign of civic responsibility nowadays."

If you do not know, North Carolina is in the middle of a serious drought. I have trees dying and my grass turns to dust when I walk on it. Our town has resorted to Level III water restrictions. These restrictions require that there be no watering of lawns, and you cannot use a hose to water trees. You can however water trees with a hand held container such as a bucket or watering can and you can put the hose in the can. (I think it has to have a nozzle on it though). It sort of makes sense...they don't want you sticking the hose under the tree and forgetting about it. The only thing you can use a hose directly on is your swimming pool. You are allowed to "top off" your pool. It's October!!! Nobody is swimming anymore. My trees are dying but the person with the concrete back yard and the pool can wield a hose however they wish as long as the water lands in the pool. Everything else about the restrictions were logical until I read this part.

Never mind though...my dirty car fills me with pride because it shows my civic responsibility.

Two Great Commercials!

Over the past year or so, there are two commercials I absolutely love. Frankly the power of a commercial is usually what it does for your mental health more than any product they're trying to sell. Very rarely will I go buy something because of a commercial. Unless of course it's food. And that is more visual than anything else. I had no attraction to that tiny dog on the Taco Bell commercial but they sold me on the Gordita. But back to my point, I love a good laugh which is where most "good" commercials take us. But what is odd about these two commercials by Liberty Mutual is that they won't make you laugh. These are more along the vein of the Hallmark or Coke/"Mean Joe" Green adds of the past. And since they will eventually fall into oblivion, they're here for your viewing pleasure.




It feels good to "Pay it Forward"



Oh, and for the record, I haven't a clue how good of an insurance company they are.

Medical Extortion

So, the family and I go on a nice weekend trip to Myrtle Beach. It was great! And interestingly, my son and I, who both have asthma, seemed to have cleared up from some of the fall allergies while we were there. This was also great! Unfortunately, upon our return, histamine invoking allergens were their waiting for us, and yours truly here somehow left his inhaler somewhere back in South Carolina. Oh bother! I rarely needed it but it's not very comfortable going without it. Sometimes, if you're hit really hard with an attack, you can struggle to get a decent breath. So last week, I called my doctor's office who I have only seen once since moving here. They actually have a "prescription refill line." Very progressive! I suspect there is a doctor living somewhere overseas who's sole duty is to refill meds. May as well offshore it and save a few bucks. Anyhow, I leave a message requesting albuterol because I left my inhaler at the beach. I was told to check my pharmacy a day later. Checked then pharmacy then...no luck. Check again yesterday and still no prescription. No call from the doctor, either. So then my wife calls the doctor's office. Their response is that it's been over two years since they have seen me and they will not put the prescription in until I come in to see them. Now, it's important to note that albuterol is not a controlled substance. There is no street value. And even if it were a controlled substance, it's taken me over two years to use one canister of the stuff and I only need a new one because my expired one is somewhere in Myrtle Beach! I concede it's time for a checkup. I'm 40 and I'm sure they're very excited to give me a little tune-up or something. But withholding my medicine until I get there in this case amounts to Medical Extortion. If it were a narcotic, or something I'd be ok with it. But now, I am put in a position where I will need to fight through wheezing until I see a doctor. I'm sure it's in my best interests and all...I'll just try not to breathe much until I get in. Oh, and Dr. W...you're fired. I figure if I can go a couple of years without seeing you, it's just the right time to find another practice.

Let the car in!

A pastor at my church said recently that you learn a lot about a person by their behavior on the road (as well as the style of car they have). Of course this is a rough sketch of a person. It's like judging a book by it's cover, but there is some definite truth in this as well. People often think they are in some sort of one way mirror situation where no one else can see them or know them. Word to those of you who assumed this the case and have used it to your advantage: It's not true. People are watching and perceiving! It goes both ways of course....some people may look shady or downright scary but will actually let you in front of them when you need to turn in to their lane. They may not smile, but deep down we see their decency and politeness. And you nice, happy people who are pretending not to see the cars wanting to get in because your singing or on the phone. Well, true colors might be shown when you continually ignore them.

Every morning I take my son to a small Christian school. There is a back up of those who need to turn right onto the road after the drop-off. It's a slow moving queue in the road which prevents us from coming back onto the road unless someone lets us in. If no one were to let these cars out, they would literally sit there for an hour and a half when rush hour ends. Thankfully the majority of people understand the "take your turn" or "zipper effect" and will let one car in. Sometimes people become overly generous (if there's such a thing) and will let multiple cars in. Unfortunately there comes an occasion where a string of cars, still moving at a slow pace, refuse to look at us needing a break and ride on the bumper on the car in front of them. Now I have to admit, that there were occasions in my depraved past when I did the same. Why did I do it? Well, I had my reasons, but afterwards, I felt childish and guilty for being inconsiderate and taking the low road. So the question I have to others is why would you not let the car in? As I've matured, I can't honestly think of a decent reason why. If I'm running late, it's my fault (or circumstance). If the car has a bumper sticker that offends me, well, that might be a reason, but why is that having a negative effect on me? For all I know, someone just bought that car and hasn't scraped off the bumper sticker. And then of course, people who believe different than me....should I treat them differently? In my faith that would actually be a reason to be especially considerate. So, anyhow, the challenge is for someone to show me a decent reason why not to let a car in front of you on the road or in the parking lot, or wherever. If you can't think of a reason why not, then the challenge is to be sure that you let them in. I'm pretty sure you will feel better for it.

I love how kid's explain things

My sick son who seems to have fluid in his ears just said, "Dad, I'm trying to hear, but my ears are talking instead of listening."