Citizens Unite!

Okay, the election is over, (can I get an "amen"?), and it's time to move on and begin working to find common ground on both sides of the aisle.  (Wow, that sounds good.  Maybe I need to run for office).  Well, I have an item in which we can all come together on.  Tonight, I'm sending this to the recent candidates  where applicable:

Dear Candidate,

As you know, (or maybe you don't) the election ended on the night of November 6th and citizens around the area are breathing a sigh of relief. We appreciate your desire to serve our community/municipality/state/nation regardless of the outcome.

You are receiving this email because your political signs have been seen around the Greater Charlotte area despite the fact that the election is over.  We understand you might be busy reveling/wallowing in your recent victory/loss, and everybody likes seeing their name in print, but as I think I might have mentioned, voting ended on 11/6 and the election is done!  Your signs are no longer needed. We would rather look at the beautiful grass, asphalt, litter and roadkill than your name in print on the side of the road. No offense, of course, especially if you won your election.  But please, now that IT'S OVER, the only running you need to do is to the side of the road where you will find your slightly weathered name hanging there annoying the rest of us.  Kindly remove it from the ground and take it home. If you're wondering what to do with all of those signs, you are welcome to wallpaper your house, if you'd like, but please don't invite me over if you do. I'd recommend recycling.  

Thank you again for your desire to serve us.  As a courtesy to you, this email will be sent daily until all known signs are removed.

Sincerely,

Rus

PS. The location of the signs identified have been omitted from this email because like all good children, you need to learn to pick up after yourself and put things away when you're done with them. Your failure to do so is either an indicator to you as to why you weren't elected in the first place or an indicator to us why you shouldn't be re-elected at the end of your term.

Can we unite on this?  You're welcome to copy and paste this and send it to those in your area too.  Heck, you can even use my name if you want.

"Making Out"

10 Year Old Son: "Dad, what is 'making out?'"
Dad: "Uh,...it's when you kiss your wife multiple times."
Son: "Yeah, or someone you're in love with, right?"
Dad: "Uh...let's just leave it at 'wife.'"

Effective Meetings

I have written previously about facilitating meetings.  Somewhat akin to that post would be the “effective” meeting I was in today.  My boss had asked me about a month ago to attend in her absence in which I of course said yes.  In doing so, I missed a team meeting of which I am the co-chair.  But hey, when your boss asks you to do something, you make arrangements to do it.  Since I was going in her place, I also was sure to wear a tie.  For those of you who know me, you know that’s serious.  Whenever I go to one of these high-powered meetings as a proxy I am sure to send notes to my boss.  Below is a slightly altered version of what I sent her today:

Meeting began with attendees discussing whether we had an agenda or facilitator.  After about 5 minutes of small talk it was determined that we had neither.  Mary asked Jake about H1N1 cases on campus.  Jake said we have had approximately 60 cumulative cases in which about 35 are active.  Meeting adjourned.

Please Note: H1N1 cases on campus has nothing to do with the purpose of this committee. 

Pair o' Dime Props: Glenn Dorsey

OK, considering OSU is currently unable to beat an SEC team, I have to admit it's hard to give props to former LSU Tiger, Glenn Dorsey. But the latest Dick's Sporting Good's commercial is just funny. This weekend as college football started, I caught this during one of the games. Can Dorsey act? Well, no. But he poked fun at himself in this ad, and for that he's won some points in my book.

Jim Borgman: The Blackberry/iPhone epidemic

Every once in a while Jim Borgman posts an editorial cartoon that I can't help but "repost" on here. This was a recent offering of his. I can't help but smirk every time someone says they want a blackberry. This is what it does to you. Can anyone else relate to this cartoon? Can I get a witness?

Things I have learned...so far

I have just completed my year at age 40. (This is different than completing your 40th year. You do that at age 39). It was the hardest, depressing and yet rewarding years I have traveled to date. The twelve months included a farewell to thinking I was still physically young and a hello to mortality. I think the latter of those two was the harder part. (It was also the most rewarding part as well, but that's probably too deep and too long of a post for now). I've discussed this with one of my friends at work and we agree that people usually go through a period of self evaluation during their decade ages. (In other words we look back at age 20, 30, 40…). This is probably a good thing. Perhaps we should do it more often. So anyhow, I figured at age 40 I could impart some of the things I have learned so far and hopefully others will be better off for it.

• I'm not nearly as good of a father as I thought I was. I've learned over the past year that things that I thought my kids really liked, well….they didn't. Just because your dad was vacant in my life doesn't mean I should hover in theirs. Don't get me wrong, they still love me, and they honor me well, especially on my birthday when I usually request and receive toys. :-)
  

• Condominiums and Townhouses make more sense than ever! Let's just say I have a lot of bushes, and fairly large yard and Charlotte, NC gets pretty warm when grass and bushes grow.

• It's not growing back. Despite hopes that it was a phase and I could somehow defy genetics, I believe I am losing the follicular battle. I will be wearing my hair short from here out whether I like it or not. The idea of wearing someone or something else's hair on my head or spreading chemicals on my scalp in hopes of some few additional sprouts is out of the question. The up side is that I no longer have to worry about having a comb either. :-)

• I'm never going to have a washboard stomach. For the longest time, I thought with a little work and a healthy diet, I too, could have that "six-pack."Well thanks to Peyton Manning I now know this just isn't likely.A bit depressing, but I sure did enjoy that Brownie a la mode last night.

• It's important to stretch…before everything! Young boys are known to pull the "Tom Cruise/Risky Business" slide across the floor while wearing socks. (NOTE: Cruise did this in just his underwear, but anyone who has seen the movie would know that he also lacked discretion in other things as well. Pants are recommended). Anyhow, if an older gentleman were to say, gather speed while going down a flight of steps with a hardwood floor landing and then lunge forward on the last step with his right leg extended to pull off the Cruise slide, he could perhaps pull a calf muscle. Now, I'm not certain about this, but this is what I heard. I also heard that the same muscle will stiffen up and ache every morning this person climbs out of bed as if to laugh at the increasing fragility that his 40 year old body has. But again, this is only what I've heard. Come to think of it, I don't know why any 40 year old would even think of trying to pull off a stunt like this.

Okay, that's enough for now. Lunch is over and I have to limp across campus.

Weekend Purchases

So this past weekend we went out and found a few bargains. My wife found on Craig's List, a four in one cordless tool set which she bought for some of her household projects. On Sunday, she needed one more power tool, so we went out and got another bargain at the Black and Decker outlet. While we were there, I also found some nice fleece gloves that match my coat.

So to recap the weekend: My wife bought five power tools and I bought a nice pair of gloves and made us a nice dinner on Saturday evening. I don't know whether to consider myself one of the luckiest husbands in the world or question my own masculinity. :-)