Citizens Unite!

Okay, the election is over, (can I get an "amen"?), and it's time to move on and begin working to find common ground on both sides of the aisle.  (Wow, that sounds good.  Maybe I need to run for office).  Well, I have an item in which we can all come together on.  Tonight, I'm sending this to the recent candidates  where applicable:

Dear Candidate,

As you know, (or maybe you don't) the election ended on the night of November 6th and citizens around the area are breathing a sigh of relief. We appreciate your desire to serve our community/municipality/state/nation regardless of the outcome.

You are receiving this email because your political signs have been seen around the Greater Charlotte area despite the fact that the election is over.  We understand you might be busy reveling/wallowing in your recent victory/loss, and everybody likes seeing their name in print, but as I think I might have mentioned, voting ended on 11/6 and the election is done!  Your signs are no longer needed. We would rather look at the beautiful grass, asphalt, litter and roadkill than your name in print on the side of the road. No offense, of course, especially if you won your election.  But please, now that IT'S OVER, the only running you need to do is to the side of the road where you will find your slightly weathered name hanging there annoying the rest of us.  Kindly remove it from the ground and take it home. If you're wondering what to do with all of those signs, you are welcome to wallpaper your house, if you'd like, but please don't invite me over if you do. I'd recommend recycling.  

Thank you again for your desire to serve us.  As a courtesy to you, this email will be sent daily until all known signs are removed.

Sincerely,

Rus

PS. The location of the signs identified have been omitted from this email because like all good children, you need to learn to pick up after yourself and put things away when you're done with them. Your failure to do so is either an indicator to you as to why you weren't elected in the first place or an indicator to us why you shouldn't be re-elected at the end of your term.

Can we unite on this?  You're welcome to copy and paste this and send it to those in your area too.  Heck, you can even use my name if you want.

A true sign of age is the speed of time

There's nothing new in saying, "Time goes faster as you  get older."

So when you say to yourself, "I just listened to that CD in my car the other day," and the memory of you listening to it has you in a car you had "2 cars ago" driving to a house you had "2 houses ago," then chances are time has sped up just a bit and you're a little older than you realize.  Especially when you sold the house you were driving to 7 years ago.

Christmas: Now and Then

A quick study in contrast... Advent Now, while commercialism invades every aspect of Christmas, we attend parties, sing carols, wish people well, and make/eat a lot of rich food. Then, Mary was in hiding, public shame was likely on both her and her husband, and nothing else in society had changed but this Roman requirement to go to your ancestor's home town for a census. Christmas Eve Now, we celebrate the religious aspect of Christmas. We go to church, eat more rich food and begin opening gifts. Then, Mary and Joseph were traveling 80+ miles to Bethlehem, or sitting in a smelly cave while contractions were beginning. Christmas Day Now, for most a frenzy of activity of opening and receiving gifts, more rich food, (more acid reducers), lots of garbage and clutter in the house, and seem very exhausted people. Then, well there are some similarities here. A frenzy of activity, the pain came first, but then the smiles came. There was plenty of garbage and clutter, I'm sure. Shepherds were also freaking out and some folks from the east arere blown away at the sight of a new start in the west. They probably begin to look at manuscripts and begin wondering if they should follow the star somewhere. After Christmas Day Now, the celebration, sadly, is over. Everything begins to return to normal, except for perhaps some frenzied shoppers and returners in the stores. Virtually all Christmas music stops. And parents begin to put things back in their normal spots in the house. Then, I suspect more activity in the stall. Joseph is actively looking for a decent place for his family, and perhaps he's planning a circumcision ceremony as well. Magi are learning what the star means, packing up some gifts and getting a caravan ready for a very long trip. Shepherds are probably trying to convince others about what had happened the day before. Back then, what celebration there was probably just beginning.

Sunday School: When Jesus Died

Yesterday in the (3rd grade) Sunday school I assist in, I heard the following exchange:

Boy: I thought Jesus died on Christmas.

Teacher: No, Christmas is when we celebrate His birth.  Jesus died on a Friday.

Boy: Oh yeah!  He died on Black Friday!

 I was amused by this...even more so when I saw the hint of truth in the child's statement.

 

 

 

 

 

Which church do you go to?

A literal translation of common dialog:

Person 1: Which Church do you go to?
Person 2: We go to (insert pleasant name) (insert well-known denomination) Church. It's the church my spouse was raised in.

Translation: I really don't like this church or the denomination, but we go there anyhow.

Ironies in Facebook

We "friend" people we might otherwise consider acquaintances, coworkers, etc.

We "like" things not because we really like them but because it might win us something.

We "poke" people....which we learned at an early age not to do.

Surely there are others...

Perfect Game - not

If you missed it, Armando Galarraga pitched a perfect game, but due to terrible call by umpire Jim Joyce, it was lost after 8 and 2/3 innings. The call wasn't even close. The umpire blew it. To put this in to perspective, prior to this year, 18 perfect games had been thrown in the entire history of Major League Baseball. Those who have done it join an elite group. Galarraga will not be one of them do to an errant decision by the umpire.

However, there are larger messages to be learned from last night's perfect game that wasn't. If I were watching it with my son, I would hope to point out the following after the bad call:

• Nobody is perfect.
  
• Life is not fair. Never think it is.

The day after, here is one article that puts things in an even better perspective. In light of that article, I would note the following to my son:

1. The umpire acknowledged his mistake: "I just cost that kid a perfect game," he said.
2. The umpire approached the pitcher and expressed remorse and apologized. Apparently he had tears in his eyes and apologized multiple times the story above said.
3. Immediately after the call, Galarraga was smiling while many were wanting the umps head. Galarraga offered forgiveness. In reference to the situation, he even said to reporters, "What am I going to do?" and "Nobody's Perfect." Classy.

So while the rest of us are screaming, the pitcher and umpire are making things right. They are showing us how to handle the fact that we are not perfect and that life is NOT fair. They are showing us not perfection, but perhaps human nature at it's best. In the grand scheme of things, I'd rather observe these actions over 27 batters not reaching first base.

Another parting thought...

Here's another upside... Galarraga will not be on the growing list of those who have pitched perfect games. But how many can you name on that list? I've got two. Don Larsen who did it in a World Series, and Tom Browning who did it for the Reds, (and I listened to it while it happened). So I can remember two, but I also know of two games that were "almost perfect." Babe Ruth got thrown out of a game after walking the first batter he faced and Ernie Shore picked the runner off of first and then retired the next 26 batters. Shore was perfect, but since a runner reached first, it is only considered a combined no-hitter. And now I will remember this game where Armando Galarraga retired, in reality, 28 batters...with one really bad call. Ironically, and fortunately, he will likely be remembered more because of this than if he had pitched a perfect game.

Christmas Eve Service thoughts

We visited a different church tonight for Christmas Eve. It's actually a good night to visit since the services at virtually any church are packed, everyone seems like visitors, even in your own church. With all that goes on during a Christmas Eve service, I come home with two various but to me, moving points.

1. At this church a special offering was taken tonight to help many who are struggling with housing costs, unemployment etc. Nearby, I watched a child no older than 10 scrounging through his Bible case. Starbursts, suckers, gum were coming out, but he was obviously looking for money before the plate got to him. He was unprovoked to do this and I could help but be moved by the generous heart I was watching. Wow!
2. Not unrelated, the pastor also asked the question of who we believe has shared the Gospel around the world more than any other person. Apparently a study has been done, and it isn't Paul, Billy Graham, Brother Andrew or some other well-known evangelist. Nope, they say it's Linus van Pelt. Linus apparently "got it" at a very young age and wasn't afraid to let others know. Another thing the pastor said tonight that I hadn't realized is that this is the one time where Linus drops his security blanket. Considering that public speaking is one of the greater fears in life, he clearly had all of his hope and security in the One whose birth we celebrate tomorrow. So without further ado, let's let Linus "Lay Down" the blanket and the Good News and tell us again what Christmas is all about.

Merry Christmas!

A two minute challenge I can't get out of my head

A short post today. Perhaps these are "baby steps" into me beginning to post more regularly again. I saw this video on someone else's blog, but the level of challenge is profound if you think about it. Watch this and then consider your church:



OK, now you've probably made an assessment about your church, and that's fine. You probably also made an assessment about "Soul City Church" too. Fine again. So now watch it again and do the same for yourself. I'm trying to think about what this means to ME...not my church. It's really easy for me to post this. To say in my head and my heart "YES!" Moving that feeling from my head and heart to my hands and feet is a different matter. I pray this haunts me until I do something about it seven days a week. And that when I do, that the Glory goes to Him and not me.

5th graders win! Theeeee 5th graders win!!!

So, the other day my son comes home and tells me he didn’t enjoy playing football at recess.  I asked him why and he said his team didn’t do well.  I dug deeper and this is what I found.  It seems that in typical class order, the 5th graders decided the teams.  In particular, all the 5th grade “studs” decided the teams.  They essentially said, “OK, how about all of you 3rd and 4th graders on one team and the rest of us will do our best to give you guys a fight.”  Well, being an “underclassman” the younger kids agreed.  I mean, hey, there were more of them, right, so it should be fair.  And besides, the 5th graders are older than them and it is a class system, so what were there choices?  Well, needless to say the bigger faster and older kids took care of them.  I’m sure there were plenty of interceptions, fumble recoveries and long runs and passes for touchdowns.  Who doesn’t like to be on the winning side of that?  Well needless to say it wasn’t much fun for the younger ones.  I told my son that he DID have an option though.  He could choose not to play and/or speak up about the lack of parity.  Lesson learned.

On a completely unrelated note <wink wink>, I’d like to congratulate the New York Yankees on another World Series championship.  I know a lot of Yankees fans who are very happy about this.  I’m happy for them.  For the rest of the fourth-graders out there….well, maybe next year.  :-)

Christian Fanatics

We all, on occasion will say we're a fan of something. You could be a fan of baseball, a musical group, ice cream, etc. Everyone is comfortable with that. When we say fanatic, we get a little less comfortable with it, don't we? Although fan is short for fanatic, when we say the longer version, it implies a greater intensity. If you were to add "Christian" in front of that, then the implication becomes something even more concerning and definitely has a negative connotation to it. Well, Timothy Keller, in his book "The Reason for God" explains what the problem is with Christian Fanaticism. I love this excerpt:

Fanaticism
Perhaps the biggest deterrent to Christianity for the average person today is not so much violence and warfare but the shadow of fanaticism. Many nonbelievers have friends or relatives who have become “born again” and seem to have gone off the deep end. They soon begin to express loudly their disapproval of various groups and sectors of our society—especially movies and television, the Democratic Party, homosexuals, evolutionists, activist judges, members of other religions, and the values taught in public schools. When arguing for the truth of their faith they often appear intolerant and self-righteous. This is what many people would call fanaticism.

Many people try to understand Christians along a spectrum from "nominalism” at one end to “fanaticism” on the other. A nominal Christian is someone who is Christian in name only, who does not practice it and perhaps hardly believes it. A fanatic is someone who is thought to over-believe and over-practice Christianity. In this schematic, the best kind of Christian would be someone in the middle, someone who doesn’t go all the way with it. Who believes it but is not too devoted to it. The problem with this approach is that it assumes that the Christian faith is basically a form of moral improvement. Intense Christians would therefore be intense moralists or, as they were called in Jesus' time, Pharisee’s. Pharisaic people assume they are right with God because of their moral behavior and right doctrine. This leads naturally to feelings or superiority toward those who do not share their religiosity, and from there to various forms of abuse, exclusion, and oppression. This is the essence of what we think of as fanaticism.

What if, however, the essence of Christianity is salvation by grace, salvation not because of what we do but because of what Christ has done for us? Belief that you are accepted by God by sheer grace is profoundly humbling. The people who are fanatics, then, are so not because they are too committed to the gospel but because they're not committed to it enough.

Think of people you consider fanatical. They’re overbearing, self-righteous, opinionated, insensitive, and harsh. Why? It’s not because they are too Christian but because they are not Christian enough. They are fanatically zealous and courageous, but they are nor fanatically humble, sensitive, loving, empathetic, forgiving, or understanding—as Christ was. Because they think of Christianity as a self improvement program they emulate the Jesus of the whips in the temple, but not the Jesus who said, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone” (John 8:7) What strikes us as overly fanatical is actually a failure to be fully committed to Christ and his gospel.

When put this way, I feel much more comfortable saying I'm a fan of Jesus...or even a fanatic.

Contagiousness

This past week, I began reading The Tipping Point, by Malcom Gladwell. This book, is subtitled, "How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference." In the introduction, Gladwell discusses, contagiousness, but he wants us to look at it in a different light than just things like Swine Flu. I think we've become better at this. We now say someone may have a contagious laugh or attitude. It's a positive thing. Now, I'm not going to go all cerebral on you here, because even though the point in the excerpt below is well made, I couldn't help but laugh while reading it. See if you find humor in it...or perhaps it may just make you sleepy....

A world that follows the rules of epidemics is a very different place from the world we think we live in now. Think, for a moment, about the concept of contagiousness. If I say that word to you, you think of colds and the flu or perhaps something very dangerous like H.I.V. or Ebola. We have, in our minds, a very specific, biological, notion of what contagiousness means. But if there can be epidemics of crime or epidemics of fashion, there must be all kinds of things just as contagious as viruses. Have you ever thought about yawning, for instance? Yawning is a surprisingly powerful act. Just by reading the two yawns in the previous two sentences--and the two additional yawns in this sentence--a good number of you will probably yawn within the next few minutes. Even as I'm writing this I've yawned twice. If you're reading this in a public place, and you've just yawned, chances are that a good proportion of everyone who saw you yawn is now yawning too, and a good proportion of the people watching the people who watched you yawn are now yawning as well, and on and on, in a ever-widening, yawning circle.

Yawning is incredibly contagious. I made some of you reading this yawn simply by writing the word "yawn". The people who yawned when they saw you yawn, meanwhile, were infected by the sight of you yawning--which is a second kind of contagion. They might even have yawned if they only heard you yawn, because yawning is also aurally contagious: if you play an audio-tape of a yawn to blind people, they'll yawn too. And finally, if you yawned as you read this, did the thought cross your mind--however unconsciously and fleetingly--that you might be tired? I suspect that for some of you it did, which means that yawns can also be emotionally contagious. Simply by writing the word, I can plant a feeling in your mind. Can the flu virus do that? Contagiousness, in other words, is an unexpected property of all kinds of things, and we have to remember that if we are to recognize and diagnose epidemic change.

OK, maybe it's not that funny. As a matter of fact, I'm bushed. Goodnight.

Pair o' Dime Props: Jackie Andrade

A couple of weeks ago I was in a Faculty Council meeting here at the university. The agenda for this meeting included a briefing from the Chancellor, the Provost as well as the President of the Faculty. Since I am administrative staff, I am considered a guest of the meeting and I sit in the very back; sort of like a second class citizen. Well, as is often the case with these things, they tend to go on for some time. So I was back there with my paper, drawing away. Loops, boxes, faces, sometimes even the back of someone's head. It looks terrible, but it's what I do. Finally, one of my associates leaned over and whispered, "What is this, Art 101?" As for the quality of my drawing, I think she gave me too much credit, but more importantly, she caught me doodling. Immediately, I had that same wave of shame come over me that has happened times before. I remember being in church about 10 years ago, when during the message, my bible study leader who was a row in front of me looked back at me while I was busy illustrating and scowled. Seriously, I felt like I was about 7. I shamefully covered my sketches and tried to focus on the pastor. However, sitting still staring at a speaker doesn't help me very much. What a slacker I was!

So here's my confession: I doodle. Yes, I use an actual pen and paper and draw nonsensical shapes, and scribbles. If I'm daring I may try to draw someone's face. I tend to cover up what I'm doing when I can, but I'm frequently found out. You can sometimes make daydreaming look like you're listening, but it's hard to keep doodling a secret.

Well about a week ago, I was in a meeting again with the same associate mentioned above. This time I was asking her questions and essentially writing down my action items from the meeting. At the end I looked at my notes, which could be found with asterisks, arrows, and other meaningless scribbles and laughed. I showed her the page and mentioned the "Art 101" statement she had made before. She went on to tell me that she had read an article talking about how doodling isn't really a bad thing. She didn't remember the reference so I went and did a doodle google. (Yeah, I know…I couldn't resist). Here is a sample of what I had found. Thanks to the research of Jackie Andrade, it appears by doodling, one is able to retain more information than those who look like they're listening! All of this time, people were looking down their nose at me thinking, "How pathetic! A grown man can't even pay attention," while I was busy retaining the information they were missing while scoffing at me! Ha! I believe I may have to carry around a few copies of the actual abstract of the article so that I can pass them out to anyone who judges my scribblings as juvenile!

So thank you Dr. Andrade, for vindicating my years of drawing while listening.

NOTE: The doodle above is not mine but belongs to a friend who is quite the sketcher! If you click on the picture, you can see some much more impressive drawings.

Also, here is a link regarding this from Morning Edition as well.

Narnia: I Love This Dialogue!

I'm over 40 years old and I'm finally reading The Chronicles of Narnia. I finished Prince Caspian last night (which means I can see the movie now), and this is by far my favorite quote/exchange. Those who know the allegorical aspects of the book will appreciate the following:

"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"

"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."

As I continue to grow in the faith, I see how much "bigger" God is. We can't box him in, or understand his mind at this time. The good news is that I get to spend eternity growing in this aspect.

Dual Relationships

A relatively verbatim transcript of last night's dinner conversation...
-------------
Dad: Hey Chris, you know my friend Tim?
Chris: (Puzzled look) Who?
Dad: You know, Tim and Sandee, in Germany?
Chris: Oh, yeah!
Dad: Well he is sort of like the principal of the school where he works, (actually he's more like a superintendent but I'm talking to an 8 year old here). But, he also teaches a class in the high school. And do you know who's in his class now?
Chris: Who?
Dad: His own son!
Chris: (Really puzzled look! Like this is abnormal)
...
Dad: Hey Chris, what would you think if I was your teacher?
(At this point, Chris attempts to evade the question and somehow redirects the conversation. Perhaps on purpose?)
Mom: (smiling...or rather smirking) Daddy, I don't think Chris answered your question.
Dad: I think you're right. Chris, how would you feel if daddy was your teacher?
Chris: (Mentally processing....clearly looking for the most politically acceptable response. This "transcriber" believes he's looking for the answer that won't offend dad.)
Chris: Weird.
(Laughter)
Dad: (With a smile) Weird?
Chris: Yeah, but, well, weird could mean two different things. Like, when I say "weird" I sort of mean "nasty." But sometimes I say "weird" like when something is "cool!" (Side note: Dad needs to work on getting Chris to stop saying "like" so much).
Mom: So weird could mean "nasty" or "cool?"
Chris: Yeah
Mom: So if dad was your teacher, that would be cool then?
Chris: No.
(More laughter, including dad who now redirects the question to his 6 year old.
Dad: Hey Andrew, how would you like it if dad was your teacher in school?
Andrew: I think I would want to snuggle with him!
(Smiles)
Dad: You would, huh?
Andrew: Yeah, and I would want to be the teacher too!
Dad: Hey Andrew, how would you like some dessert? Chris, it's time for bed.
-------------

OK, that last line isn't true. :-)

It amazes me though that an 8 year old can already recognize the complexities of dual relationships. This conversation was definitely worth some laughs.

Resolutions...not

I have made one successful New Years resolution in my life. About three years ago, I resolved not to make any New Years resolutions. This is one could be in jeopardy, but I have determined that there is a better word than resolution. Perhaps we should call them goals or targets. This is better because if you miss the target, you just keep trying. With resolutions, you do things like resolve not to overeat. This is a common one and usually works pretty well by midday on January 1st when you've sat down with your Bowl Party snack. At this point you decide you've blown it and get up for your fourth plateful of chips. The only good that comes out of that is that the pressure is then off.

I hear of people who take the end of the year to reflect and take inventory and then plan for the upcoming year. After 40 years, I figured I'd give that a shot. (I've always been a little late to the dance). This is not an exhaustive list, but here are some goals I have for the upcoming year.

In 2009 I intend to

• intentionally "carve out" time specifically for my wife and me.
• continue spending an hour or so every morning reading scripture, praying and drinking coffee. :-)
• read the following books: Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands (P. David Tripp), The Reason for God (Timothy Keller), Surprised by Hope (N.T. Wright), Don't Waste Your Life (John Piper), The Chronicles of Narnia (Books 1 & 2 were finished on New Years eve and day...5 more to go), The Edge of the Tidal Pools (Michele Phoenix).
• take at least one class at Reformed Theological Seminary.
• continue to go to the gym 2 to 4 times a week.
• eat after 7pm only one time per week. (I'm not doing too well int his area so far :-) )
  

I suppose there's more, but hey, when someone who reads this asks me in December how I did, I don't want them to see ALL of my missed targets. :-)

Choosing a Consulting Firm

A few weeks ago I was asked to review over 900 pages of proposals from 9 consulting firms. As you may expect this was quite a delightful way to spend a week at work and at home. After much reading, skimming, meeting and discussing, the group responsible for determining which vendors to bring in for presentations came to a decision to bring in three firms for two hours a piece. All three presentations were today and thanks to my friend, the coffee bean, I made it through all three and retained consciousness. But now, after all this time, a decision must be made. Here are the "highlights" from today's meetings:

Consulting Firm A
This firm brought six people for the presentation. All but one of them was younger than me, (and I'm not that old). They all wore dark suits, used the cliché "Think outside the box" once and twice told us that they didn't want to just provide us a binder of findings as the final deliverable and it be put on the shelf. They wanted to be sure we found value in implementing what was in the binder. One person told one semi-funny joke twice and they provided one color 17"x11" color handout while we listened to a two hour Powerpoint presentation.

Consulting Firm B
This firm had two people considerably older than me. One person spoke the whole time, right after lunch and before my second round of coffee. No jokes were told and they also told us twice that they didn't want to deliver a binder that just gathered dust on a shelf. They wanted to be sure we found value in implementing what was in the binder. They provided a nice color folder/brochure and a printout of their Powerpoint presentation. They put six slides on a page, twelve total on both sides. You had to squint to read the slides on the page and there really wasn't room for notes. The speaker spoke for exactly two hours and no jokes were told. My eyes stayed open but not by much.

Consulting Firm C
This firm brought four people including the owner. They were all older than me by some degree. They did not tell us anything about binders or thinking outside the box. They provided a nice folder of information and a printout of the PowerPoint slides. Two slides on one side of the paper providing plenty of room to write. They had about one third the amount of slides that the other firms had. All four people spoke and they had plenty of energy which matched my alertness thanks to round two of my coffee. I do not remember any jokes but I do remember laughing on multiple occasions. Most importantly, they ended their presenation 20 minutes early.

Naturally and for strictly professional and pertinent reasons, my vote is for Firm C, hands down.

(Please note: If you find this post boring, I'm sorry. Just be thankful youdidn't have to sit through what I had to sit through today :-) )

NCAA Football is in upheaval

In the past, I have offered up that sports are challenging my faith, but now I realize that something bigger is happening. Consider the following anomalies in college football. These facts will make your head spin and make you question if all is right in the universe:

• Notre Dame continues to lose and will not go to a bowl game for the second year in a row.
• Michigan has their first nine loss season in the school's history. They finished the season losing to Ohio State 42-7. (This one doesn't keep me up at night)
• Jim Tressel called for a fake punt against Illinois while OSU was leading by 21 with less than 10 minutes left to play. This may not seem like a big deal, but anyone who knows Jim Tressel, knows his conservative in coaching is second only to his conservatism in wardrobe. He's the kind of guy who would stop at 42 against Michigan when it could have been 56.
• The University of Cincinnati will be going to a BCS bowl game. Let me say that again. The University of Cincinnati will be going to a BCS game! The final four, yes; but a BCS bowl!?!
  

But the largest piece of evidence that College Football is in upheaval is this:

• Florida State has produced a Rhodes Scholar! Yeah, you think all that other stuff is crazy. Myron Rolle, a safety for the 'Noles, is a Rhodes Scholar. The guy wants to be a neurosurgeon and now has the opportunity to study in Oxford. Unbelievable. I don't know what shocks me more; the fact that this guy would go to FSU, or the fact that Bobby Bowden would even consider recruiting someone who would put their studies before football. A fluke indeed, but regardless - hats off to Mr. Rolle.
  

The times, they are a changin'. I should have known when OSU recruited the top quarterback in the nation. My world is being rocked.

GPS Shortcomings

Last Mother's day I gave the Mrs. a Garmin. It's great! I love the maps and it's fairly efficient in giving me directions to where I need to go. I love the technology too. It's like watching yourself on a map while you're driving. However, I do have a few suggestions for improvement.

Let's talk about the voice. Our's is pretty neat since you can give it an English or Australian accent. Or, if you're ambitious and bilingual, you could actually program it to give you directions in your second language. Honestly, though, after a while, you want something a little different. Perhaps some additional dialects could be added into the device. Take for instance some northeastern accents. We lived in Northern New Jersey prior to moving down here and nothing would be cooler than hearing a nice Jersey accent with the appropriate attitude while driving. The female voice even talk like she has a big piece of gum in her mouth or something. And to have the male voice, say something like "Hey! You missed the turn! Sheesh! Hold on while I recalculate..." Of course, I would wonder whether someone from New Jersey would be able to tell you to turn left at a major intersection. (If you don't get that joke, then you probably don't know what a jughandle intersection is either. :-) )

Now that I live in Charlotte, I think it would be great to have some southern accents as well. "Where do you want to go today sweetheart?" Or "Oops, well bless your heart, you just missed that last turn. Hold on honey while I recalculate that for you." It could even call me "sir" at the appropriate times - now who wouldn't like that? Or how about a little more familiarity in tone? "You want to go where? Oh, now you can't get there from here. You wanna head on down to the post office and then turn left right after the Bojangles..."

Of course the sky's the limit with this. A london cockney accent or a nice thick Yorkshire dialect. You name it, it shouldn't be that hard to add these.

But here's what I really want when it comes to the Garmin. I want the following dialogue:

"Turn left in .2 miles"
(No turn)
"Recalculating..."
"Make U-turn in 400 feet"
"Recalculating.....again...."
"Please turn right onto Main St."
(Volume increases)"Please adjust the volume on your GPS while I recalculate again"
"Please turn right onto 2nd street"
"Um, hello? Are you even paying attention to me? Let me recalculate again"
"Turn right onto 3rd Street"
"Do you even want my help! Why did you even buy me if you're not going to listen to my recommendations"
"Turn right on 6th Street"
"OK, now you're really lost....you are so clueless!!!!! Recalculating...."
"Arrive at Destination on left?!?! Wow! I never thought of going this way. I take back everything I said. Please accept my apologies. I bow to the one with superior directional knowledge. Let me file this route away so I won't suggest you go that long way again."


Now THAT would be cool.

Sports are challenging my faith

January 2008: At my church we had a "Men's Challenge" event to kick off the year. The challenge speaker was Walt Wiley who is a great guy and a Christian. It was an enjoyable event. Walt used to be the chaplain for the Atlanta Braves, so he shared some stories about some of the guys on the team. It was cool. At first it seemed hard to believe that a team like the Braves would even want a chaplain, but I figured baseball players are relatively decent guys and they get traded so often, there is no doubt that Christians would eventually land in Atlanta whether they wanted to or not. Later that night, I met this guy named Dan. A really nice guy who is married and has two adopted children. He seemed pretty strong in his faith too, but...well, I found out later he went to the University of Michigan! Unbelievable! Christians in Ann Arbor! There must be something wrong. I figured it was a fluke.

July 2008: The junior high youth pastor at my church is a great guy. I haven't met him personally, but I've enjoyed and have been challenged by his preaching on the occasions that I've heard him. Well his Facebook profile is open and I cam across it one day and couldn't help but notice that he's from the state of Michigan and is a big Wolverines fan! Could lightening strike twice?

September 2008: Well, anyone knows that Ohio State fans such as myself don't really have a soft spot for Florida. The Gators trounced the Bucks twice in one school year in National Championship games. It was disgusting. Well, I was on the elliptical at the Y Saturday morning, minding my own business and then the following story was played regarding Florida QB and Heisman winner Tim Tebow:




Could it be that the school you go to or cheer for has nothing to do with your faith!?!? I'm stunned.