Okay, the election is over, (can I get an "amen"?), and it's time to move on and begin working to find common ground on both sides of the aisle. (Wow, that sounds good. Maybe I need to run for office). Well, I have an item in which we can all come together on. Tonight, I'm sending this to the recent candidates where applicable:
Dear Candidate,
As you know, (or maybe you don't) the election ended on the night of November 6th and citizens around the area are breathing a sigh of relief. We appreciate your desire to serve our community/municipality/state/nation regardless of the outcome.
You are receiving this email because your political signs have been seen around the Greater Charlotte area despite the fact that the election is over. We understand you might be busy reveling/wallowing in your recent victory/loss, and everybody likes seeing their name in print, but as I think I might have mentioned, voting ended on 11/6 and the election is done! Your signs are no longer needed. We would rather look at the beautiful grass, asphalt, litter and roadkill than your name in print on the side of the road. No offense, of course, especially if you won your election. But please, now that IT'S OVER, the only running you need to do is to the side of the road where you will find your slightly weathered name hanging there annoying the rest of us. Kindly remove it from the ground and take it home. If you're wondering what to do with all of those signs, you are welcome to wallpaper your house, if you'd like, but please don't invite me over if you do. I'd recommend recycling.
Thank you again for your desire to serve us. As a courtesy to you, this email will be sent daily until all known signs are removed.
Sincerely,
Rus
PS. The location of the signs identified have been omitted from this email because like all good children, you need to learn to pick up after yourself and put things away when you're done with them. Your failure to do so is either an indicator to you as to why you weren't elected in the first place or an indicator to us why you shouldn't be re-elected at the end of your term.
Can we unite on this? You're welcome to copy and paste this and send it to those in your area too. Heck, you can even use my name if you want.
1 comment:
Bonus points if you give it one of the subject lines that the Obama campaign used on its emails - "Hey." "Put this on your car." "You should pass this one on." "This one's for real."
Sigh. I very quickly started filtering them out of my inbox.
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