Nineteen years ago, I had the privilege of participating in a short term mission project. My girlfriend Tina and I had been actively involved with Campus Crusade for Christ and this was where we had essentially met and built our relationship. Tina and I had been dating for about a year and a half when we felt led to go with Operation Mobilization to Birmingham and Bradford, England. The trip was life-changing in so many ways. Seeing people learn about Jesus and grow in their faith as well as being able to serve alongside other believers from every corner of the globe was an experience I will not soon forget. But I have to say the biggest part of this trip; the part that has changed my life the most, (and for the better), was the evening of July 23rd, 1991. Seventeen years ago today.After spending the day doing direct/assertive evangelism in Birmingham, the large group of international missionaries were to go back to the Elim church where we were having evening meetings. This usually consisted of dinner, worship and a message. Well, Tina and I were on different teams and hadn't seen each other all day so I had asked my team leader, Ian, for a place I could go in the evening with my girlfriend. So when we got to the church, I told Tina that we were playing "hookie" from the meetings and going out to dinner.
The day was typical of England in mid-July. A light drizzle and temperature in the 50-60 degree range. Not ideal I suppose but there is something about an English rain that makes it a little less of a downer. (I was amazed by how little the weather affects the English. I suppose when it's something you're used to, it doesn't bother you). Well, I took Ian's advice and we headed to a local street where there were a number of restaurants. There was even one touted as "American Cuisine," but we opted to pass on that. We settled on a place appropriately called "Valentino's." It being a Tuesday, the place was empty and quiet. I asked if what we were wearing was acceptable and he told us to come on in. After 10 days or so in Europe, it was really nice to get away by ourselves and not have to think about everything going on around us. We sat by candlelight and I think we talked about the future and probably talked about the mission trip we were on, but it's hard to recall. I can't remember much of the conversation, but being in love, I'm sure it was good. Tina and I shared our dinners: Chicken Marsala and Spaghetti Bolognese. Afterwards, I asked the host if we could take the candle with us for memorabilia. He probably thought we were being silly, but of course he said "yes." A half-burned candle isn't something you keep on a table anyhow but it was a nice reminder for us. When we left, I noticed that the rain had finally stopped. This was an incredible blessing because I was hoping we could find a nice place to sit after dinner before heading back. We walked up the hill we had come down earlier and stopped at a BP "Petrol" station to ask for directions/advice. This being "pre-blackberry," we were at the mercy of a local in order to find some place to go. We asked the lady at the counter if there was a park or something nearby to walk to and she mentioned there was one but wasn't sure if it was walking distance from there. Just then a local cab driver came in and he told us about Grove Park and said it was a little far to walk. He offered to take us as a courtesy! What are the chances that the rain would stop and a cab driver would take us there for no charge? We thanked the man profusely and Tina gave him some Smarties as a "thank you." (Smarties are not American smarties...they're like M&M's).
The park had a nice pond and the sun was just behind the trees from where we sat. Again we continued our conversation and enjoyed the serenity of the evening. Very few people were out, and we felt like we had the place to ourselves. With the rain stopped it had turned into a
pleasant evening. I was pleased with how the evening had turned out. In some ways it was how I had hoped it would be when I proposed to my wife. So with my heart in my throat and my knees on the ground, I slipped a ring on Tina's finger and asked her to marry me. I don't know what possessed her to do so, but after a moment of disbelief, she said "yes."Engagement is often overlooked as far as a milestone. However when you think about this, engagement is a huge commitment! It is my belief that engagement is where the real commitment is and the ceremony follows later. The man is essentially saying, "I'm all in," and for a moment which seems like eternity, waits to hear the response. In my case, Tina said she was "all in" too. Once this is done, it's extremely difficult for a couple to turn back. I have a hard time seeing how a once-spurned proposal could turn into a happy marriage. I'm sure it's done, but I suspect that it's not a point of fond memories and I'm guessing a lot of folks go their separate ways after such an occasion. For me, I was incredibly blessed. Tina is as close to a perfect complement to me as
there can be. It is hard, and virtually unthinkable for me to think of life without her. She's an incredible wife and mother of our two boys.Like many, when you participate in a short term mission project, you experience things that alter your perception of life. You become a more open-minded and loving person and you have experiences that you will never forget. Although this was one of the many memories from the trip, it was also the one that made the most impact on me. Anyone who knows Tina, knows how loving and caring she is and I have the honor and privilege to spend virtually every day of my life with her. What more could I ask for?
Tina,
thanks for saying "yes" 19 years ago and for loving me "no matter what" since then. I love you.
